you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
