using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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