Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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