He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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