I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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