Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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