I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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