A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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