i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
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You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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