Do you still have your period?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
