I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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