the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
only you would photoshop your dick
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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