I want to walk on stilts...naked
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize