Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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