i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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