Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's just like the Real World with babies
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
