Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
