Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i came on her dog
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
