its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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