eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
