sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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