could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
