I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
