I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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