There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
