you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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