these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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