Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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