Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
