We named our party play list daddy issues
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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