They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
