y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
