He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
