I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
