my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
