I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
