Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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