So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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