While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
