butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
