don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
