one might say we're banned from that church
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
