someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
