I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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