I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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