Whod you bang
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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