Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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