Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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