Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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