How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My balls are so social today.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
