I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize