toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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