I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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