Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
