i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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