Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
