i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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