i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
