Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
