so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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