What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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