when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
