The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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