sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
