im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize