I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
operation harelip BJ is a go
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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